This umbrellas it all

I’ve been asking God to change my heart attitude towards my 9-5 job. Like, I’m fully passionate about design, but I’m sitting there in front of the computer thinking,

“Hey, I’m 22yrs old, young and healthy and here my body is being used for clicking this mouse!”

I literally sit there with my body aching and writhing for activity. For something more. To be living a life of more significance. And some would say, "but ah Ryan you are impacting so many lives!?" I reckon, with in context of "with much blessing, much more is required", or rather with the mindset, "Every day is a new day, everyday I am a new creation, therefore the deeds of yesterday are forgotton"; the more illuminated I am, the more I have to tell the world.

So here I am getting frustrated here waiting for the next season of something more useful for God and active and inspiring and equipping to a point that it’s making me this mellow, boring non-proactive guy in this blessing-from-God job. And all because I’m dreaming of the next steps.

But what I’m becoming aware of is that this season could be more crucial and pivitol than the next. Being amped where EVER you are. This season is revealing another side of my character, un-shaped. And the thought that came into my head a moment ago was, "I should be serving Gods work, cos this place is his, with the same zest I do for when I’m serving at church." Is a part of my service ‘helped’ along because I’m with the people I love and my heart is for the church and building it? Yes, partly. In both positive and negative ways.

How do you grasp that all? Well, you can’t, without grace. Now that I’m acknowledging things, the next step is to start living it. A whole new venture to take hold of and play out.. again of which I don’t know how to! Cos I’m not amped!

Ah, all these many many things. And what scares me, in context of the fact that 80% of believers make the decision to follow Christ when they’re in their youth, kinda makes me think that our formative years are the most crucial to get mindsets and habits and understandings right. Because soon, I’m going to be too strong and unwavering to hear Gods voice the way I was made to be. I would've been brought to the max of by potential and character shaping. I pray for the acceleration in my growth to never reach a plateau, but keep growing “like the faith of a child.” To condition my character now, for my character to allow for illumination and humility for the rest of my days.